10 Memories of Megapussy

Scissor Sisters at Mercury Lounge, July 20.

1) How can you not get off on seeing what’s currently one of the biggest bands in the world in a room that holds all of 200?

2) Yet Scissor Sisters are not one of the biggest bands in America. They may not even be one of the biggest bands in New York. But they do have a fanatical following, every one of whom – straight, gay, young and old – seemed to have dressed for the occasion and came ready to receive Scissor Sisters as homecoming heroes. (And heroine.)

3) Any group that comes onstage to the KLF’s ‘Justified and Ancient’ has it roots in the right place.

4) I’m not sure if they brought in their own PA, but I’ve never heard this room sound so big. That’s maybe because it doesn’t normally host dance acts with big phat bass lines and groovy disco drum beats.

5) Jake Shears is so hot even I fancy him. And that’s before he takes his shirt off.

Jake Shears after he takes his shirt off.

6) Ana Mantronic is so dirty she could work in a pigsty. Let’s see… There was the libelous anecdote about Carol Channing; the anecdote about the couple she saw at Glastonbury shagging in the mud to Underworld’s ‘Born Slippy’ (“shouting lager lager lager… believe me, it was not a pretty sight”); the anecdote about her wardrobe malfunction; and the introductory comment about why the group were called Megapussy for the night (“because it’s hot as a c*** outside”). Later, she elaborated upon the real roots of the night’s name: apparently in Finland, pussy means “bag” and if you want to supersize something, you often find yourself with a megapussy. If you’re Scissor Sisters, you naturally find this hilarious and immediately add it to the list of potential pseudonyms for hometown ‘secret’ shows. Sadly, I was not at last week’s show to hear the origins of Bridget Jones’ Diarrhea.

7) Scissor Sisters are superstars. But not the kind of superstars who need bright lights and special effects. Theirs is the kind of superstardom defined by oversized presence of personality, such as fills whatever space it’s deposited in – football stadium, festival field or rock club.

Jake, Ana Mantronic and Dolly doll: superstars

8) Yet they weren’t always like this. Forgive me for sounding so casually jaded, but the only other time I’ve seen Scissor Sisters at any distance less than several hundred feet away (as per last year’s V Festival) was at an even smaller venue, Luxx in W*******burg. That was before Brooklyn’s gay community had fallen for them, let alone the housewives of middle England. Back then, Jake and Ana projected the prospect of stardom, but Del Marquis was a timid mouse of a guitarist off in the corner. Now, not only do the front duo act like the world is their permanently aphrodisiacal oyster, but Del Boy struts the stage like life’s a permanent MTV shoot. Hell, even musical director Babydaddy affords himself the occasional smile of confidence that comes from selling several million albums.

9) New songs. I counted around half a dozen. ‘Hair Baby’ seemed formulaic, but ‘Hyperman’ was camp (fire singalong) as the Rocky Horror Picture Show, while one with the chorus ‘I Can’t Decide Whether You Should Live Or Die,’ with Babydaddy on banjo, may yet demand need for a newsubgenre, gay country. All regularly performing groups, regardless of stature, should road test new songs in small clubs like this. Few groups, though, would have the balls (or megapussy) to test new songs at Live 8, as Scissor Sisters had already done with ‘Everybody Wants The Same Thing.’ Wise move. It’s a stand-out.

10) Old songs. Listen, I’ve never claimed to be Scissor Sisters’ biggest fan. I must be one of the five people of British descent who doesn’t think their debut album is the greatest thing since sliced Abba. I’m listening to it right now and I’m still not hooked on their phonics. It’s actually a very mainstream record (hence, of course, its widespread popularity). But several of these songs simply explode on stage like the rock’n’roll disco anthems you sense they were always intended to be. Had you been there Wednesday night when the home town crowd sang along to every word of the raucously delivered ‘Tits On The Radio,’ ‘Take Your Mama’ and ‘Filthy/Gorgeous,’ you too would have been converted.

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