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THIS IS WHY WE HATE THE VOICE


As any long-suffering reader knows, Village Voice music critics are paid NOT to offer their actual opinions on an album, only to pontificate in ever-longer roundabout sentences that rarely reach a conclusion. Read James Hunter’s review of X&Y by Coldplay, and see what I mean.

"Like U2 on their Joshua-Achtung-Leave masterpieces, Coldplay base X&Y not on how a new gallery show can dazzle and provoke, or on calculations of how much guitar occupies the mix, or on worries about whether this 2005 release evokes historic recordings. Although Martin remains absorbed by tragedies of the heart and the world, Coldplay on X&Y pursue the biggest pop-record-deluxe experience. This is not, notably, business as usual—not during these days of distance and retro."

I think he loves it; he just can’t come out and say it. At least the ageing Robert Christgau grades his short reviews: Sleater-Kinney‘s The Woods top his page of surprisingly new albums with an A-.

(By the way, does anyone really think U2 did not make "calculations of how much guitar occupies the mix" on The Joshua Tree?)

(By the way also, am I the only person on earth who has yet to hear Coldplay’s new album? The closest I got was yesterday, when I launched my Radio 1 transmitter radio on my Tiger Dashboard and heard the ‘hidden’ acoustic track concluding the maddening Colin and Edith’s run-down of the album charts. Do I win a prize?)

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