How are you today, Jesse?

5:00am -- I was awoken by two of my apartment building neighbors having a loud discussion. I told them to shut up and now they think it was me who called the police last night to complain about a domestic squabble they were having. (The man is quite large and tattooed.)
9:15am -- While driving my dirty little Honda from Brooklyn to the East Village, I flipped on shock jock Howard Stern (like not being able to avert your eyes from a car wreck) and had to endure an interview with a rock star who I know personally and dislike heavily. Quote: "Nobody understands that music is my life, man. You know, the band is my family."
11:00am -- A friend called me and told me Lou Reed died which turned out later to be just an internet hoax.

I ask because at least one magazine that listened to Opening Credits concluded that you must be a "miserable bastard." Well, are you?

Not as much as I should be given some of the material. A few more days like this one and I'll get there.

Are Laptop and Jesse Hartman one and the same character, or is Laptop merely your alter ego? If so, does that make you any more easy going in person than you are in song?

On a scale from 1-10, is Jesse as ________ as he is in Laptop songs?
Paranoid - 10
Funny - 8 (how can he be?)
Mean - 5
Romantic - 0 (I'm more so in person)
Competitive - 0
Well-adjusted - 3 (I'm more so in person)

You grew up around the New York rock'n'roll scene, I gather. Do you recall your first gig? How old were you? Did it make you want to become a rock'n'roll star?

Pet Clams From Outer Space at CBGB's in 1978. I was 6 and my older sister thought I should see the inside of that famous club. Made me want to hold my ears more than be a rock star. Seeing the Talking Head's Remain In Light tour a couple years later made me want to be rock star.

You toured with Richard Hell at a very young age? How old were you then? Did THAT make you want to become a rock'n'roll star?

I was 19 or 20 when I went to Japan as the guitarist on a punk rock Spinal Tap-esque Richard Hell tour. THAT made me want to sell all my gear (which I did upon return), swear off rock stardom (Richard told me repeatedly that the rock biz is a "world of pain" - he was right), and become a filmmaker.

You've performed with many other musicians and several bands. What's the closest you've ever come to being a rock'n'roll star?

I am a rock 'n' roll star.

"American indies have little power these days, American radio is a joke and the place is just too fucking big to make an impact with- out a lot of $." JESSE HARTMAN ON WHY HE LAUNCHED LAPTOP FROM THE UK. (PIC: Anne Senstad.)

Your last real band, Sammy, released an album on Geffen, back when that label could do no wrong. How comes you didn't sell a million?

I beg to differ with the "do no wrong" bit. Geffen was on a serious losing streak in the post-Nirvana era which was strangely one of the reasons we signed with them. We figured they NEEDED to break a band and therefore might pay attention to us more than they would have during the Guns 'N' Roses era for example. Geffen actually got folded into Interscope not long after we left the label which would have been a disaster for us as it has been for bands like Girls Against Boys.

So after Sammy broke up, you developed an alternative career as a film-maker. How cool is that?

Actually, I started making films at age 21 at Wesleyan University before Sammy even started. My first film was a short about my experiences as a bartender that won Best Short Film in Berlin 1993. A feature followed that I co-wrote the story for and co-produced called "River Of Grass" which was a Sundance hit back in 1995. There's been many other since (as many as I can do while keeping up musical appearances).

What's the greatest thing you've ever done with a camera?

I once filmed a heartbreaking portrait (of staggering genius) of my good friend Slimma Williams (poet, Two Boots dishwasher, self-titled "mutant from outer space") for MSNBC. There's a sad song about him on Sammy's Tales Of Great Neck Glory called "Slim Style".

If you had to choose between making films and making music, which would it be?

I can't decide. That's my fatal flaw. At least Laptop is "cinematic" enough to satisfy both impulses.

You used film metaphors in 'End Credits,' the song that introduced Laptop to the world. What do they call that: multi-tasking? Cross-platforming? What do YOU call it?

I call it being a frustrated filmmaker.

Was your re-entry into the music world as Laptop a calculated endeavor or a happy accident? (Please elaborate.)

Both. After Sammy broke-up, I knew I wanted to continue making music. I knew I needed to basically go at it alone. I knew it had to be something completely different...I wanted to explore artifice and a kind of musical theater of the absurd, get away from the guitar rock I had grown up with, be mean and honest, be funny, use samples, include cinematic elements...I knew I never wanted to be lumped in with bands like Pavement. I knew I didn't want it to be a band....I think Laptop accomplished all that -- accidentally/consciously.

Laptop appears to have been launched from the UK. How comes? Weren't you living in New York all this time?

Yes, it definitely appears that way. Much like Les Rhythm Digitales appeared to launch from France. In Laptop's case, this appearance is due to a number of factors:
--Sammy had always done well in the UK. There was immediate interest in what I was doing in London.
--A dude with "smart ears" in London named Dave Barker wanted to (exclusively) put out the "End Credits" single.
--I didn't see any point in releasing anything in America til there was something going on in London (a la Nirvana, Pretenders, Hendrix, and countless others that used London as a shop window for their material)...In my opinion, American indies have little power these days, American radio is a joke and the place is just too fucking big to make an impact without a lot of $. London is just the opposite. That first single got on BBC 1 with no plugger, no $, no manager, nothing. That's what I love about London. They'll take a chance on anything.
--Laptop was just too weird for America in 1998. Maybe/hopefully not now.
--My music sounds British so why not let people think it is?

You then had the fun of being released by an American major label again (MCA I believe). How great was that?

Well, after a few singles got that unexpected airplay on English national radio, I fatefully signed with Island Records. Which was bought by Universal (practically the next day) and I suddenly found myself back on a Uni company in the States (I had already been on Geffen with Sammy). I was devastated as they are truly the evil empire but they assured me with expensive lunches that they loved, got, lurved, whatever else Laptop. I even got a Christmas gift from the President of MCA with a note: Look forward to breaking Laptop huge in 2000. He was right. They did break Laptop: my momentum, my sanity, my desire to be on a major ever again.

Continue to part 2