Brits make the best Dish

So, after posting that mammoth Heatwave weekend recount – especially with a Firefox crash in the middle of filing the links and uploading the pictures – I needed a head-clearing break. Headed to the Blue Sky Bakery for a coffin and a muffee. Picked up the daily paper, opened it at the gossip column, sat back and read the following, which exclusively occupied one page:

The piece on Pete Doherty’s latest drug bust and how all Kate Moss‘ friends are begging her to ditch the loser. (But she won’t listen.)

An item about the death of Brian Jones. A new film is examining the claim that Jones was drowned in an argument with builder Frank Thorogood. (Which is strange because only yesterday I was talking about this very thing.)

An item about John Cleese selling his colon online.

And a quick suprise item that Victoria Beckham has never read a book. In her life.

What do all the above gossip subjects have in common? You’re right, they’re all British. So what paper was I reading? The Sun? The Mirror? The Mail? The Star?
No, I live in New York. That was today’s Rush & Malloy column in the New York Daily News. (All stories at this link.) Do they write exclusively about Brits EVERY day?

PS: Bonus points for the headline about Kate’s dependency: Moss clings to her man of substance. Ouch.

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1 Comment(s)

  1. 17 August, 2005 at 4:57 pm

    My mate Trevor and I always get into a heated discussion down the pub, after five pints and we’ve forgotten who’s round it is. It usually goes something like this:

    Trevor- Who’s round is it?

    Me- Yours.

    Trevor- No, I got in the last one.

    Me– No I did.

    Trevor– No it was me.

    Me- Then why’d you ask?

    Trevor- What?

    Me- Why did you bloody well ask who’s round it is when you bought the last one?

    Trevor- Well,…All English girls are ugly.

    Me– No they’re not.

    Trevor- Yes they are. British people are the ugliest people on earth. The Welsh are sheep shaggers because they would rather fuck a sheep than a dog, the Scottish fuck pigs and even girls who live in London are ugly. London has the ugliest girls of any major city.

    Me– Kate Moss, Kate Moss is BEAUTIFUL!!! You fuckin’ wanker.

    Trevor– What do you know, you like Oasis.

    Me– Oasis is fuckin’ rock and roll.

    Trevor– Oasis is shit. You better not put them up on that stupid web site of yours.

    Me– I haven’t.

    Trevor– Or that anorexic chick.

    Me– Who Kate?


    Me– Look around here. You see anyone you would rather shag.

    Trevor– No.

    Me– OK. She’s not so bad, right?

    Trevor– Right.

    Me– I’m glad we agree.

    Trevor- Good. Who’s round is it?

    P.P.S.-The above dialogue is all false and made up fiction. In no way does it represent anything ever said by any living or yet to be born person. Any comparison to the night out on July 21st 1998 from 7:33pm – 1:56am, down the George and Dragon pub, at a table in the back corner where McCutcheon (who looks like a male model) and Trevor (an Irishman who has a face for radio) sat and drank is just not true.


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