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Chris Martin renames R.E.M.


After renaming R.E.M.’s new single, from its original title “Disguised” to the much more catchy “Supernatural Superserious,” Chris Martin of Coldplay has taken the logical next step, and offered to rename the band completely.

“Let’s face it,” said the Coldplay singer and spokesman. “The name R.E.M. has been around for 28 years. It’s getting tired. The group’s album sales are down; they need to reinvent themselves. Making their best album in fifteen years should only be a part of the comeback; renaming the band will get even more media attention – and will help win new fans who think R.E.M. is their dad’s band. And after Michael Stipe took my idea for the group’s new single title, I just know he’s going to want to hear my suggestions for a new band name. Besides, why should Bono be the only rock star Stipe listens to?”

Suggestions by Gwyneth Paltrow’s husband include Your Favorite 80s College Band (“ironic and truthful at the same time”); Stipe, Mills and Buck (“like Crosby, Stills and Nash, only without Crosby, Stills or Nash – or Bill Berry”); Rapid Eye Movement (“R.E.M. sounds too much like EMI, don’t you think?”); and Cans of Piss (“I always thought that was a better name than Coldplay”).

“Of course, they could just go with ‘Supernatural Superserious,’” added the singer behind such hits as “Yellow,” “Clocks” and other unforgettable one-word titles. “Did Michael Stipe tell you it was my idea they use it for a single?”

Speaking last night on a special video broadcast beamed simultaneously on YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, REMHQ, Accelerate.com, NinetyNights.com, and all of the BBC’s pop music web sites, Michael Stipe elaborated on Martin’s well-meaning but Godawful suggestions. “When I was hanging out last night with Bono,” said Stipe, speaking straight to camera in a concerned voice, “Moby suggested maybe I go check with Thom Yorke whether Chris Martin might have any good ideas for name-dropping. I think Chris may have mis-understood my intent, but I do appreciate the opportunity to mention so many cool friends in the same sentence.”

R.E.M.’s new album Accelerate is released today, April 1.

Mills, Stipe and Buck contemplate new name.

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1 Comment(s)

  1. The Lovegod

    3 April, 2008 at 3:14 am

    Is everyone else in a catatonic state?

    April Fool’s wind up Tony?

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