Kill Your Reality TV
I know there are fans of this stuff at the iJamming! Pub but they’re going to have to do a better job of explaining their lives to me. I managed to watch barely five minutes of Michael Barrymore bitching at Dennis Rodman on Celebrity Big Brother Saturday night before changing channels through sheer boredom; I then got through only a similarly short stint of a Little Britain repeat during which I neither saw nor heard anything remotely constituting a punch line. And when I gave up on both of these and switched to that old reliable, Match Of The Day, it was to find Gary Lineker making some ludicrously pathetic comment about Alan Hansen and “bottoms” that ranked alongside the Viking DJ’s Sunday morning comment about Jordan’s desire for a “pink chopper.” Lineker would probably get a few more laughs if he noted that Alan Hansen is so coated in make-up these days that he more resembles Pete Burns than he does a former footballer.
To add insult to injury time, I gave up holding out for Match Of The Day 2 Sunday evening at 11:45 pm, by which point the snooker had run over schedule by at least an hour. I remember R.E.M. talking about recording Fables of The Reconstruction in London during January 1985: that not only was it wet and cold and the city was expensive and they missed their girlfriends and the pubs closed at 11pm, but there were only 4 channels on TV and two of them showed nothing but “billiards.” There’s more channels now, but nothing seems to have changed at the BBC!
One positive thought about Celebrity Big Brother though: the longer these people spend locked up with each other, the less damage they can do to proper popular culture. Am I right?