Kill Your Reality TV

I know there are fans of this stuff at the iJamming! Pub but they’re going to have to do a better job of explaining their lives to me. I managed to watch barely five minutes of Michael Barrymore bitching at Dennis Rodman on Celebrity Big Brother Saturday night before changing channels through sheer boredom; I then got through only a similarly short stint of a Little Britain repeat during which I neither saw nor heard anything remotely constituting a punch line. And when I gave up on both of these and switched to that old reliable, Match Of The Day, it was to find Gary Lineker making some ludicrously pathetic comment about Alan Hansen and “bottoms” that ranked alongside the Viking DJ’s Sunday morning comment about Jordan’s desire for a “pink chopper.” Lineker would probably get a few more laughs if he noted that Alan Hansen is so coated in make-up these days that he more resembles Pete Burns than he does a former footballer.

To add insult to injury time, I gave up holding out for Match Of The Day 2 Sunday evening at 11:45 pm, by which point the snooker had run over schedule by at least an hour. I remember R.E.M. talking about recording Fables of The Reconstruction in London during January 1985: that not only was it wet and cold and the city was expensive and they missed their girlfriends and the pubs closed at 11pm, but there were only 4 channels on TV and two of them showed nothing but “billiards.” There’s more channels now, but nothing seems to have changed at the BBC!

One positive thought about Celebrity Big Brother though: the longer these people spend locked up with each other, the less damage they can do to proper popular culture. Am I right?

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4 Comment(s)

  1. 23 January, 2006 at 10:05 am

    You are on the right side of this world. Just maybe at the moment not geographically. Come back here to 11pm channel 35. We have 1,000 stations with nothing on, as the saying sometimes goes. Enjoy those pulled pints and proper places to sit and relax in the pubs. You will miss it when you come back to the dank East Side chairs and plastic beer glasses. The grass up the ass is always smokin’ finer on the other side of the pond.

  2. Shona

    23 January, 2006 at 10:15 am

    Tony – You crack me up….
    I won’t go into whay I love reality tv on here ….

    Last night if it wasn’t for me watching Beyond the Sea on sky movies – I may have ended up on the pub starting a few more off the wall threads ….. Personally – I hate watching sport these days – especially snooker – I loved it in the 80’s…… and I resent the fact that I have to pay £42 a month for sky as the BBC never satisfies my needs yet I fork out on a licence fee too.

    I had noticed Alan Hansons appearance lately – He use to be in my top ten for most fancied footballers and now he is walking that fine line between man and drag artist – I think his affair with Patsy Kensit did him NO favours

    You are right about Little Britain – it just NOT funny!!!

  3. 23 January, 2006 at 9:23 pm

    Just spent the last week in England where my whole family is hooked on this rubbish. I’ve given up trying to analyse why I hate it, it’s more effort than it’s worth. I just sat in another room and sulked.

  4. 17 February, 2006 at 7:07 am

    I never used to like Big brother but i watched the 2005 series and now i am a big fan. Does anyone know when the 06 series begins?

    Many thanks and great blog.


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