Tofu is like fugu blowfish sushi: Prepared correctly, it’s delicious; prepared incorrectly, it’s lethal. Very early in my vegetarian career, I found myself famished and stuck in a mall, so I wandered over to the food court’s Asian counter. When I asked the teenage chief culinary artisan what was in the tofu stir-fry, he snorted and replied, “Shit.” Desperation made me order it anyway, and I can tell you that promises have rarely been more loyally kept than this guy’s pledge that the tofu would taste like shit. So here’s a tip: Unless you know you’re in expert hands (Thai restaurants are a good bet), don’t even try tofu. Otherwise, it’s your funeral.

From “Vegetarian Myths Debunked,” published in yesterday’s online Slate magazine by Taylor Clark. I have to agree with him and say that tofu goes through me like, I dunno, lager at 11pm after a boys’ night out. (Not that I’ve had one of those for a few years!) If it was all I could eat, I’d probably be eating meat. Fortunately it’s not, so I don’t. Read the rest of Clark’s moderately-stated views here.